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What Did You Accomplish In Life Today?

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  • JuxtaposeJuxtapose Centurion

    @Ozzi Sorry to read about your friend man.

  • Law212Law212 Centurion

    I didn't accomplish this really, but my vacation was approved today. I'm pretty hyped. 1 month in Greece.

  • Yesterday I got a huge surprise from a local veterans group.
    I received a Quilt of Valour which is given to veterans.

    I was not expecting it as I never considered myself a veteran as I only served about 4 years in the reserves.
    I was noticeably shocked when they called my name.

    Juxtapose
  • JuxtaposeJuxtapose Centurion

    @Law212 said:
    I didn't accomplish this really, but my vacation was approved today. I'm pretty hyped. 1 month in Greece.

    Nice. When are you going?

  • Law212Law212 Centurion

    @Juxtapose said:

    @Law212 said:
    I didn't accomplish this really, but my vacation was approved today. I'm pretty hyped. 1 month in Greece.

    Nice. When are you going?

    August 17th. First to nova scotia for 3 days for a wedding, then to greece

  • When I was still in highschool and spending my days in the library reading novels alone every chance I got there was this one girl who for some reason kept trying to reach out to me. Our lockers were right beside each other one year and one day she introduced herself to me and invited me to hang out with her and her friends at lunch. I declined. The next year we were in opposite math classes but were both waiting alone at the exam door an hour early and she started chatting and, me being me, just kind of nodded and smiled and tried to get out as fast as i could. Then she messaged me on facebook one day and we had a decent talk about our lives and she asked if i wanted to go to the library and talk sometime, which I also declined because 17 year old Tim. She was the only girl in highschool I ever had a crush on.

    I never understood why she kept reaching out to me, especially given how popular she was, but I always appreciated it and throughout this whole "kicking my anxiety" thing have wondered if I had gone to the library with her that time if it would have been the first step I needed, 6 years earlier.

    Anywho! I saw her for the first time in like 5 years at work today. I don't think she recognized me in our brief interaction but I really wanted to tell her how much she had helped me by reaching out all of those times and say sorry for always bailing and not ever taking her up on her offers. She was in a rush though and has a kid now who was being impatient so I didn't. Really glad to see she is doing well though. Last I heard she was in a rough place.

    Another day in the life of Tim.
  • Law212Law212 Centurion

    It is weird to see a girl you had a crush on but never made a move on and then one day she has a kid or two and you might wonder what would have happened if I did something? IMO its not too big of a deal when youre young. What do you think will happen youll fall in love and start a family?

    Chances are you will have a kid, then break up and your life is screwed like what happens with most young people who think thats all there is to life.

    I dont think anyone under 30 should be getting into serious relationships. They typically dont last and then you have kids and alimony and child support and you havent even lived your life yet.

    Go enjoy life. Do some travel , get some education and some work experience. Date women but dont try to lock one down. Try to develop yourself. Try new things, stop worrying about what people think and just say what you want and do what you want. Within reason.

    When youre older and you have some life experience behind you then look at starting a family if thats what you want. but look for someone else who also lived life.

    There are lots of miserable people out there and one thing lots have in common is they finished high school had kids and then had to get some job to support them. then they spend all that time supporting kids and dreaming of being able to have free time and money to enjoy life . I know too many people like this.

    What are you scared of? Youre going to die one day. Do you want to be minutes from death thinking, It would have been cool if I had the guts to say this, or do this...

    Or you want to go thinking, man that was awesome!

    That might have been a bit of a tangent. IN your case , even if this girl was always just a friend to you, dont open up about how she helped you. You dont know her well enough and i know you think that opening up like that will blow her mind or something because thats how anime works, but in reality you will scare her. She will avoid you at all cost. You can definitely say hi and ask if she remembers you, and you can say how shy you were, but dont tell her she helped you and blah blah blah.

    You still have time Tim but I know a number of people whose lives are over and they never started. And its mainly becuase they fear change. They wont leave their comfort zone and they are very insecure and unsure of themselves.

    Juxtapose
  • JuxtaposeJuxtapose Centurion

    @Law212 said:

    @Juxtapose said:

    @Law212 said:
    I didn't accomplish this really, but my vacation was approved today. I'm pretty hyped. 1 month in Greece.

    Nice. When are you going?

    August 17th. First to nova scotia for 3 days for a wedding, then to greece

    Who you marrying?

  • TimothyWedelTimothyWedel Centurion
    edited March 13
    To be clear that post had nothing to do with me wanting to make a move on her or regretting not going out that one time or even wanting to try and be friends. I genuinely just wanted to say thank you but talked myself out of it due to her situation and it being a really weird thing to do.
  • JuxtaposeJuxtapose Centurion

    @TimothyWedel said:
    She was in a rush though and has a kid now who was being impatient so I didn't. Really glad to see she is doing well though. Last I heard she was in a rough place.

    Another day in the life of Tim.

    Building on what @Law212 said, lots of people who are "popular" actually have lots of issues of their own, and end up quite easily in "bad places." It's sad but true.

    Law's also right; don't tell her how much she helped you, as that will scare her. If you see her again, simply say Hi, mention you remember her from high school and it's good to see her. Let the conversation go from there.

    She'll chat with you, or she will not.

  • Law212Law212 Centurion

    @TimothyWedel said:
    To be clear that post had nothing to do with me wanting to make a move on her or regretting not going out that one time or even wanting to try and be friends. I genuinely just wanted to say thank you but talked myself out of it due to her situation and it being a really weird thing to do.

    Ya i know. I went on a tangent like old people do.
    But yea dont do it. It is weird. She will avoid you at all cost if you do

  • SmoreninjaSmoreninja Centurion
    Most likely outcome is that she will think you are putting her on some pedestal and most people don't like that. Especially out of the blue. If you want to show appreciation just treat her normally.
  • JuxtaposeJuxtapose Centurion

    @Smoreninja said:
    Most likely outcome is that she will think you are putting her on some pedestal and most people don't like that. Especially out of the blue. If you want to show appreciation just treat her normally.

    ^Bingo. Note there is a line though between giving a compliment and placing someone on a pedestal.

  • TimothyWedelTimothyWedel Centurion
    edited March 13

    Just got to read through all of @law's comment. I particularly love the part where he says this really great, totally true thing about my character based on nothing other than the fact that I enjoy anime

    @Law212 said:
    You dont know her well enough and i know you think that opening up like that will blow her mind or something because thats how anime works, but in reality you will scare her.

    Mere sentences before he says this

    @Law212 said:
    You still have time Tim but I know a number of people whose lives are over and they never started. And its mainly becuase they fear change. They wont leave their comfort zone and they are very insecure and unsure of themselves.

  • Law212Law212 Centurion

    OK Tim lets delve in. Edit: I was going to be nice to you but screw that. You should be treated like an adult.

    You picked out two quotes. You wrote about how you wanted to tell this girl all this stuff. You have thought about it so much you even have a tweet about it. Its not far fetched to think that in your head you have played out the situation at least a few times and you are thinking of actually telling this girl these things.

    Its also not a stretch to think that anime has influenced you in some way . You watch a ton of it and life imitates art.

    Id also love to know how you are connecting the first to the second quote. I think i know but I want to see it from you.

    Sometimes I can come off a bit rude but usually its because of your own perception.

  • TimothyWedelTimothyWedel Centurion
    edited March 13

    Cool, lets do it. We're both adults, why not talk like adults?

    @Law212 said:
    You picked out two quotes. You wrote about how you wanted to tell this girl all this stuff. You have thought about it so much you even have a tweet about it. Its not far fetched to think that in your head you have played out the situation at least a few times and you are thinking of actually telling this girl these things.

    Tell this girl all this stuff? I wanted to say thank you, thats it. I didn't want anything more than that. Just to let her know she made an impact on my life then we probably wouldn't see each other for another 5 years.

    The tweet that I tweeted MONTHS ago that you responded to today? This one?

    That tweet was from months ago about a completely different situation. After months of trying to find an in with my coworkers, one of them either noticed and helped or by pure happenstance just gave me that in. It opened up many opportunities for me and my coworkers to talk and because of that I have made friends with a couple of them and my work life is 100% better. Why not thank somebody for doing something like that for you? I did end up thanking them, though without telling them the whole anxiety part, and the world never came crashing down on me. That was that.

    It IS far fetched to think that I played that situation over in my head. I can count on one hand how many times I thought about this person in the last 5 years. I saw her, quickly thought "hey maybe I should say thanks for back then", decided against it and that was the end of it. Simple.

    @Law212 said:
    Its also not a stretch to think that anime has influenced you in some way . You watch a ton of it and life imitates art.

    And school shootings are caused by violent video games, right?

    I love anime because I love ALL animation. For 15 years of my life I wanted to be an animator. Cartoons, Disney movies and anime are one of my favorite things because of that. I grew up on them, just like video games so they hold a special place in my heart. They also offer a new way to tell stories that you can't tell in live action very well (look at all the video game and anime live action movies that have failed). Theres nothing more to it then that. It doesn't mold me in any significant way.

    @Law212 said:
    Id also love to know how you are connecting the first to the second quote. I think i know but I want to see it from you.

    You say peoples lives are over before they started because they can't leave their comfort zone and are insecure in themselves. Assumptions like the one you made are why I, personally, was in that exact situation. If somebody can take a simple fact like "I like anime" and somehow spin that into this assumption that describes someone who would need to have a pretty warped view of reality, then pin that assumption onto me, don't you think that maybe that person has a decent reason to be afraid of opening up and leaving their comfort zone?

    I spent most of my teenage years alone and picked on for no reason other than the way I looked and more significantly, the fact that I liked to read books and play video games. People made assumptions based on those things and I was instantly labelled an outsider and never had a chance to try and make friends with my classmates.

    More than a decade later and I am doing so much better than I was then, but the effects of that are still clearly there.

    You make me seem like some crazy person who spends his time alone fantasizing about talking to a girl. That's honestly the last thing on my mind these days. I'm just a guy living his life like everyone else, but with a little more fear and a little less self confidence.

    If you want to know what I think about all day when I have the time to, let me tell you about my dad who has been on medical leave from work for over a year and my mom who spends all her time at home taking care of her children. Neither of them are working right now and the amount of money we make as a family is barely enough to get by. If my dad doesn't have a job by next February we will lose our house and I will have to leave the job I love, with the people I am just starting to find my place with to help them whereever they end up going. A normal thing that normal people worry about, because i'm not an insane person.

    And still, on top of that, I wake up every day with a two goals I try to accomplish.

    1) Do something outside of my comfort zone

    2) With every person I interact with, try and make their day a little better. Whether it be offering to help a coworker with a task they are struggling with or making sure a customer understands how to fix what they are trying to fix and has exactly what they need to do it. Try not to be a burden on anyone. Try not to make their day any worse than it was before that interaction.

    Juxtapose
  • Law212Law212 Centurion

    Really Tim? were you just going to say "thank you" and leave it at that? Probably not, most likely youd get into why youre thanking her and instead you should just leave it and carry on as normal .

    Do what you want though . That's where trial and error comes in.

    I don't go on twitter often . I hate twitter, its full of twits SO I saw your post recently and then soon after I saw your similar post on here. It was very coincidental .

    Its not far fetched to think you played out the scenario since you have been playing it out even here on the forum and on twitter.

    Don't be a nut job. I didn't say that video games cuase shootings don't be a cathy newman.

    It is true though that people are influenced by things they enjoy . From art to entertainment. I dare you to tell me that's wrong.

    I get that you love anime, because when I make fun of it you get salty. Lots of people tie things they like into their own personality so that's why you take it personal when I make fun of it. Its normal.

    I think a person shouldn't care so much about what others think. If I saw anime sucks , you should be able to say ah well I enjoy it. If you cant , that's not my problem. You are the one who has to deal with how YOU deal with that situation.

    Also my rant about people not living their lives wasn't about you. I said I went off on a tangent and I did. A personal one. Not everything is about you. ANd no it wasn't about me, but people in my life.

    Do you think Law didn't get picked on? When I came from Greece I was so dark EVERYONE called me a paki. I had bullies who would find me every day after school and push me around and beat me up .

    Girls never liked me as I had a stupid hair cut and was pretty goofy.

    I got made fun of for things I liked too. But I did them anyway and eventually stopped caring that others made fun of it.

    I joined all the sports teams to avoid getting beat up after school.
    By the time I got to high school I was athletic , played the guitar, and had a stupid haircut but one that was deemed cool .

    As for you mom and dad.... It sucks but EVERYONE has a story. My dad died when I was 16 and I failed school and didn't do much of anything. I finally got sick of that though and tried to come up with a plan. Why do you think ive only graduated college recently.

    Everyone has problems. But I don't deal in what if. I think about what IS , and what I need to do to better myself .

    I have a friend who does that too. Wants to make everyone elses day a little better. wants to make things easier for them. So he bends over backwards to please everyone and do what he can for everyone else. Those people walk all over him. He is the most miserable person I know. They use him. they never pay him back in any way. His ex uses him, his job uses him but hes just happy to help.

    Juxtapose
  • TimothyWedelTimothyWedel Centurion
    edited March 14

    @Law212 said:
    Really Tim? were you just going to say "thank you" and leave it at that? Probably not, most likely youd get into why youre thanking her and instead you should just leave it and carry on as normal .

    >

    Do what you want though . That's where trial and error comes in.

    Yes, really. I believe in showing gratitude and letting others know when you appreciate something that they did for you. That's all I wanted to do.

    I don't go on twitter often . I hate twitter, its full of twits SO I saw your post recently and then soon after I saw your similar post on here. It was very coincidental .

    Sure was

    Its not far fetched to think you played out the scenario since you have been playing it out even here on the forum and on twitter.

    Yes it is.

    Don't be a nut job. I didn't say that video games cuase shootings don't be a cathy newman.

    It is true though that people are influenced by things they enjoy . From art to entertainment. I dare you to tell me that's wrong.

    It's not wrong, but sound people don't let it influence them in negative ways. I'd call what you assumed a pretty negative thing.

    I let Aliens temporarily scare me, I let Attack on Titan pump me up, I let superhero movies give me some hope. I don't let anime, or anything else, shape the way I understand how people interact with each other.

    I get that you love anime, because when I make fun of it you get salty. Lots of people tie things they like into their own personality so that's why you take it personal when I make fun of it. Its normal.

    I think a person shouldn't care so much about what others think. If I saw anime sucks , you should be able to say ah well I enjoy it. If you cant , that's not my problem. You are the one who has to deal with how YOU deal with that situation.

    I don't remember us ever talking about anime and definitely not me ever getting salty about you making fun of it. It has been my personal view to not care at all what others think about the things I enjoy for a long time now. If someone likes something I don't cool, if they don't like something I do, cool as well. Another thing you taught me.

    At any rate, I don't understand what this has to do with the topic at hand.

    Also my rant about people not living their lives wasn't about you. I said I went off on a tangent and I did. A personal one. Not everything is about you. ANd no it wasn't about me, but people in my life.

    I didn't say it was about me. I was using my personal experience as an ancedote on how assumptions, like the one you made, can harm someone. You said people are too insecure and stuck in their comfort zone to change right after doing something that stops them from changing.

    Do you think Law didn't get picked on? When I came from Greece I was so dark EVERYONE called me a paki. I had bullies who would find me every day after school and push me around and beat me up .

    Girls never liked me as I had a stupid hair cut and was pretty goofy.

    I got made fun of for things I liked too. But I did them anyway and eventually stopped caring that others made fun of it.

    I joined all the sports teams to avoid getting beat up after school.
    By the time I got to high school I was athletic , played the guitar, and had a stupid haircut but one that was deemed cool .

    That's great. My best friend in middle school did the exact same thing and got out. But you should understand how shitty it is when people assume things about you then.

    As for you mom and dad.... It sucks but EVERYONE has a story. My dad died when I was 16 and I failed school and didn't do much of anything. I finally got sick of that though and tried to come up with a plan. Why do you think ive only graduated college recently.

    This part was a little bit of a tangent of my own. Just working through my thoughts. I guess you geezers aren't the only ones who do it.

    I'm sorry to hear about your dad.

    Everyone has problems. But I don't deal in what if. I think about what IS , and what I need to do to better myself .

    I have a friend who does that too. Wants to make everyone elses day a little better. wants to make things easier for them. So he bends over backwards to please everyone and do what he can for everyone else. Those people walk all over him. He is the most miserable person I know. They use him. they never pay him back in any way. His ex uses him, his job uses him but hes just happy to help.

    Your friend sounds like a great guy. I used to be like that but I learned how to tell the genuine people from the fake. If they try to step all over me and take advantage of my kindness I focus my kindness elsewhere.

  • Law212Law212 Centurion

    Sounds like a great guy? Hes a coward. He always will be. I tried to help him for years. But at some point you have to leave people alone. And he is very alone.

    I don't really understand mental illness and I cant sympathize with it very well. I cant get past , saying man up and get over it. I don't understand how someone cant control their thoughts and how they deal with things, so ya. I'm not the most understanding person when it comes to that

  • As much as I wish everyone could understand I'm glad that they don't have to. I'm not sure anyone could fully understand without going through it.
    EchoGolfSierra
  • JuxtaposeJuxtapose Centurion

    Interestingly @TimothyWedel , I wanted to be an animator as well. I was going for that at the end of high school and really working hard, but sadly fell just short and ended up in TV production instead. Interestingly that turned into a lucrative career and classical animation all but died, so that worked out. Funny how life does things sometimes.

    I also think those two goals you wake up with each day are fantastic goals provided you're doing what you said and drawing that line when people are trying to take advantage of your kindness.

    Some of my family members, including my mom, have mental illness, so I understand it very well, and I think you're making great progress in self improvement. Keep it up man.

    I was picked on a lot in grade school, and a bit in high school as well. I'm the dorky guy that plays games which was hardcore lame back then, and I had a mom who was constantly in and out of the psych ward, so that made me an easy target and hurt my confidence. I was still friendly with people though and had lots of great friends, and by senior high I had pretty much gotten over it and became my own person. It basically came down to only focusing on what the few people's who's opinions mattered thought, and not what random assholes thought. Many of my high school friends are still my friends to this day.

    From my personal experience, I've found people's hobbies and interests do influence their personality, however the extent that it does so completely varies from person to person. For me, I make a lot of nerd jokes and make references to games, comics, shows, etc. that fall in that category. Even now, nearly at 40, I'm still considered a "nerd" by all of my coworkers, but that's part of what makes me me, and we all jive in that sense.

    Also, very sorry to read about your father and mom, but there's still time so hopefully things will work out. Fingers crossed man.

    EchoGolfSierra
  • DoosDoos Centurion

    I love you, Tim.

    I didn't read through all of these walls of text but I did see that part where Law said 'Don't get into serious relationships until you're 30' or whatever.. which is something I usually say myself. Except I have the caveat at the end that unfortunately it's better to get into serious relationships whenever they present themselves to you because that's how you get better at serious relationships. Catch 22.

    Also chicks start to get into dangerous territory with pregnancies mid 30's so the time frames suck unless you're marrying a girl x years younger than you.

    Ah life. You fickle old bitch. Wheeee.

    If us old guys are giving relationship advice mine would be if you're feeling love for a person, give 'er. Keep giving until it doesn't give back.. re-assess.. proceed with new info.

    Juxtapose
  • @juxtapose I never really tried that hard to make it as an animator to be honest. I love animation with all my heart but I am not artistic at all and I am not patient enough with that kind of thing to spend the time getting better. I spent way more time watching animation and studying it than I ever did practicing.

    I actually wanted to start reviewing and writing about animation for LevelSave before we ended it. We had a huge audience and I was consuming a lot of it but, again, despite trying for 5 years to do it well, I'm not a writer either.

    It's still on my mind though. I we still have LevelSave running but even if I can't do it there I might start something new. Nothing big but just a way to get my opinions out there.

  • @doos @Law212 @Juxtapose get back to me with all of this relationship advice in 5 years when I have time to even consider dating

  • Speaking of the future...

    I have a bunch of money sitting in my bank account right now. Like, thousands in savings. I know a bunch of you are decently knowledgable in how to handle money, invest and put into stuff for retirement. I have absolutely no idea about any of that.

    Any advice on what to do with it? I dont have a 401k or anything. No savings account. My plan was to go into my bank and talk to someone there about it but the general consensus i can find is that you won't get very solid advice that way.

    I just want to make sure I am using this money to its fullest. Sitting in my checkings account doing nothing for a year was probably not the greatest idea.

  • OzziOzzi Centurion
    edited March 15

    I drop 9 percent of my income into my RRSP, and I put away about 500/month into my daughters RSP for school. Then the rest i divy up on savings, living costs, and personal spending. Reep in the benefits of living from home right now, once you move have a family etc. it gets a little more complicated with money.

  • JuxtaposeJuxtapose Centurion

    @TimothyWedel said:
    Speaking of the future...

    I have a bunch of money sitting in my bank account right now. Like, thousands in savings. I know a bunch of you are decently knowledgable in how to handle money, invest and put into stuff for retirement. I have absolutely no idea about any of that.

    Any advice on what to do with it? I dont have a 401k or anything. No savings account. My plan was to go into my bank and talk to someone there about it but the general consensus i can find is that you won't get very solid advice that way.

    I just want to make sure I am using this money to its fullest. Sitting in my checkings account doing nothing for a year was probably not the greatest idea.

    For financial options, you have several simple, safe, yet effective options:

    • Contribute to or maximize your 2018 RRSP contribution
    • Contribute to a tax free savings account
    • Invest in a GIC
    • Open a high interest savings account

    You can also split between the above. Basically what I did when I was younger is I started by having a few grand floating in my chequing account for payments and expenses, and had much of everything else in a high interest savings account, who's sole purpose was to generate a little more cash while sitting there for future spend/investing.

    I would also max my RRSP contributions at the time and when I started getting around the 5k mark in my savings account, drop that into a GIC and lock it in for about 5 years for a better return.

    When TFSA's came about, I'd start doing that after I finished with my RRSP contribution for the year.

    I also disagree, I'd say go to your bank, sit with a financial advisor, and discuss options. DO NOT commit or do anything right then and there, you simply want to get information, find out interest rates, etc. You can then compare options and decide in a bit what you want to do.

  • Law212Law212 Centurion

    Invest in muffin tops.

  • SmoreninjaSmoreninja Centurion
    I feel an economic turnaround.
    Buy muffin bottoms.
  • just invest and the sooner the better. you want to figure out how much you can afford to invest every year. Then do 12 equal monthly payments. That adds the strength of dollar cost averaging to your portfolio.

    Surprisingly the most important part of the investment is the term. Not the amount. Think about it this way. If you were to invest 1 dollar a day for 35 years and average 8%-10% return on your investments you will be a millionaire when that term expires. And if it is grown in a tax free saving account then 100% of that growth is tax free.

    It is nice to be 50 and only have to work to be challenged not because I want to eat.

    My all-time favorite Canadian book is called THE WEALTHY BARBER. Reading it is the single best thing you can do for your retirement. Again... the sooner the better.

    Any of you young parents out there.... start putting a dollar a day in your kids tax free saving account today. they will thank you when they can retire and pursue hobbies at 40 years of age :)

    And yes all this works. I met my wife 9 years ago.... at that point she was recently divorced with a small investment nest egg but no retirement savings. Her net value now is about half a million but that has cost her around 750-1000 dollars a month...whereas if she had started 30 years ago... the amount she would have needed to invest would have been much less.

    Juxtapose
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