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- August 19, 1993
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After years of struggling with my beliefs today I decided to leave the Church
I haven't attended church in over 2 years and that whole time I have been doing some serious thinking about where I stand in regards to my beliefs. My core belief as a Christian is that I should be kind, loving, supportive and be an example to both my fellow Christians and non-believers. That I should love my neighbors and treat them how I would like to be treated. That my beliefs are my own and to try and push them on anybody else would be wrong.
When I was still attending church I would constantly be leaving feeling guilty for my beliefs. When I showed love and support for my gay and trans friends I was sinning and leading my friends straight to Hell. When I donated money to help support refugees in my area and save lives I was helping spread corrupt beliefs and sin in our country. When I sent a baby gift to a friend who had a child outside of marriage I was, again, supporting sin and sinning myself for not pushing my beliefs onto my friend.
I realized a while ago that my core beliefs as a Christian are really just beliefs that any decent human being should have. Everyone should try to be kind. Everyone should try to be loving. Everyone should try to be a positive force to those around them. And when you believe those things outside of the context of religion all of the exclusions disappear. You can love and support your LGBTQ friends. You can love and support those who believe differently than you. You can love and support your non-religious friends.
I still believe in God. I still call myself a Christian. But I don't believe in the exclusions, the hate and the hypocrisy that the Church preaches. I don't have to feel guilty for being a decent guy. Realizing this has taken a great weight off of my shoulders.
I just needed to get that out somewhere.
I agree 100% but the only information we had at the time was that there was a single downed line like 2km up the road.
Like I said we were being super careful and cautious. We had our lights on bright and we were driving like a snail to make sure we could see everything. Every car we passed we stopped and asked what the situation was. At that point we only knew about the one downed line and a couple of trees and we were being told that if you could get around this one tree we would be good until the one line we knew about
I had to get out of the car to check if we could make it around the tree and that's when we noticed the hidden downed line in the branches of the fallen tree.
So when I went to see the place last week the old tenants were still in and all of their stuff was still there and it was dark so I couldn't really see a lot.
I texted him asking if there was any damage I should know about and he said there wasn't
Then I was supposed to go and sign the papers today but when I got their he just pointed out a hole on the wall and gave me a set of keys and that was the end of it. He said we would sign the papers on Wednesday after I move in.
After work I brought one of my coworkers over to help me take pictures of everything wrong with the place and we had to take so many. The place is a filthy mess and there are water damage stains and food stains and dead bugs and shit everywhere. Holes in the wall everywhere.
I thought the way he was handling this was fishy. Tomorrow I'm sending him a text saying he can come take the keys back and unless he hires a professional cleaner to clean and fix it up a bit I'm not signing any papers or moving in. I'm so glad I didn't sign today when I was supposed to without really seeing the place. It's a nightmare.