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- August 19, 1993
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@Doos coming from you, someone who has known me for long enough (holy man pretty much a decade now) to have experienced how much of a little shit I was, that actually means a lot
After years of struggling with my beliefs today I decided to leave the Church
I haven't attended church in over 2 years and that whole time I have been doing some serious thinking about where I stand in regards to my beliefs. My core belief as a Christian is that I should be kind, loving, supportive and be an example to both my fellow Christians and non-believers. That I should love my neighbors and treat them how I would like to be treated. That my beliefs are my own and to try and push them on anybody else would be wrong.
When I was still attending church I would constantly be leaving feeling guilty for my beliefs. When I showed love and support for my gay and trans friends I was sinning and leading my friends straight to Hell. When I donated money to help support refugees in my area and save lives I was helping spread corrupt beliefs and sin in our country. When I sent a baby gift to a friend who had a child outside of marriage I was, again, supporting sin and sinning myself for not pushing my beliefs onto my friend.
I realized a while ago that my core beliefs as a Christian are really just beliefs that any decent human being should have. Everyone should try to be kind. Everyone should try to be loving. Everyone should try to be a positive force to those around them. And when you believe those things outside of the context of religion all of the exclusions disappear. You can love and support your LGBTQ friends. You can love and support those who believe differently than you. You can love and support your non-religious friends.
I still believe in God. I still call myself a Christian. But I don't believe in the exclusions, the hate and the hypocrisy that the Church preaches. I don't have to feel guilty for being a decent guy. Realizing this has taken a great weight off of my shoulders.
I just needed to get that out somewhere.
i hit half a million views on youtube. that's kind of cool.
if youtube didnt change the partner program earlier this year and prevent me from earning revenue on my videos, and assuming i made the same amount per view as I did for the 100k-ish that I was able to make revenue on, I calculated that I have missed out on about $480 from my videos. my $$$$ was going up pretty decently towards the end there though so it's likely more than that.