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- October 24, 1980
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It's been awhile since I told a tale, here's one I told on reddit in response to the question 'What's the most ridiculous thing you've seen at a party?':
We're sitting on the back deck. It's a warm summer evening. Close friends and friends of friends all sitting in our chairs in a big circle, chatting, drinking, smoking, enjoying ourselves.
There are multiple conversations happening and everyone is having a nice time. No one is hammered, everyone is at that beautiful golden place we all aim for when we're drinking and no one has really gone past it yet.
My friend and owner of the house stands up and announces, apropos of nothing, that he is going to shit into this ashtray. (Picture a normal sized ashtray)
He places the ashtray on the ground in the middle of the group and he drops his pants and squats over it.
Everyone has gone completely silent.
Every eye is transfixed on what is about to happen.
The party is collectively holding it's breath.
In my head I'm asking myself 'What happens after this? What kind of party does this become? What happens when someone breaks the fucking code of public decency so adamantly and without any purpose or reason? Where do we go from here?'
He grunts and groans like he's really trying and then as abruptly as it started he pulls up his pants and says 'I can't do it.' and everyone starts laughing and jeering and 'What the fuck!'ing him.
But for a moment, for that one spectacular moment, we were about to go to a place I've never been before. Where a guy shit in an ashtray at party surrounded by friends, for absolutely no other reason than to do it.
And I wonder where we'd all be now if he had.